Coaching conversations don’t stall because we ask the wrong first question.

They stall because we stop too soon.

Last week, I shared how a simple shift—asking “What’s on your mind?”—opened the door to something real.

Rachel, a high-performing team member, had gone quiet. Her updates were brief. Her energy was off. When I asked what was on her mind, she hesitated, then shared something unexpected:

“I’m not sure I’m adding value anymore. I’ve been second-guessing myself a lot lately.”

It was a powerful moment.

And it could’ve ended there.

But I stayed curious.

She gave a half-smile and shrugged. “That’s mostly it.”

I nodded gently… and stayed quiet for a moment.

Then I asked again—calmly, intentionally:

“And what else?”

She exhaled. “I guess I’ve been carrying a lot lately. I’m overwhelmed, but I don’t want to let anyone down. It’s been easier to just… go quiet.”

That’s when the conversation shifted from awareness to insight.

Why “And what else?” matters 

Michael Bungay Stanier calls this the AWE Question—because it’s often the simplest way to get to something deeper.

It works because:

• The first answer is safe.

• The second is usually true.

• The third is where the gold is.

In coaching, we often stop at the surface because we assume we’ve heard it all. But “And what else?” tells the other person:

You’re not being rushed. I’m still listening. Keep going.

It invites people to go further—on their terms.

It’s a subtle but powerful reminder: As leaders, our job isn’t to jump in—it’s to hold space long enough for others to step in.

When and how to use it

 Use “And what else?”:

• After someone shares an update that feels incomplete

• When emotions surface and you want to create space, not solve

• To slow the pace and let the real issue emerge organically

I often ask it 2–3 times in a row, with a pause between.

Not aggressively—just with patience and presence.

With Rachel, it took three rounds of “And what else?” to get to what really mattered: the pressure she was putting on herself, and the cost of trying to seem “fine.”

Why it matters:

Coaching isn’t about fixing. It’s about finding.

And sometimes the best thing a leader can do is stay quiet long enough for the real story to surface.

Not with silence as a tactic—but with presence as a gift.

Your Turn:

When was the last time you paused long enough to ask again?

How might “And what else?” create a deeper conversation in your next 1:1?

Next week on Wisdom Wednesday:

We’ll explore the Focus Question—and how to guide someone from swirl to clarity by asking what really needs their attention.

#LeadershipDevelopment #TheCoachingHabit #CoachingMindset #GrowThroughLeadership #LeadToLearn #WisdomWednesday