You’re not Socrates.
But a good question still goes a long way.
She’d been in the role for about three months.
Sharp. Curious. Picking things up quickly—but still second-guessing herself.
She’d check in often:
“Is this the right way?”
“Do you want to review it before I send it?”
It wasn’t over-dependence. It was caution.
She knew more than she realized—but didn’t trust it yet.
And without thinking, I kept answering. Quickly. Automatically.
Until one day, I didn’t.
I realized… she didn’t need me to tell her what to do anymore.
She needed space to figure it out—and someone to walk beside her as she did.
So the next time she asked what to do, I didn’t answer.
Instead, I asked:
“What do you think the best next step is?”
She paused. Thought. Answered—brilliantly.
And in that moment, something shifted.
Not just for her—but for me.
That was my second lesson in adaptive leadership:
Sometimes the best way to support someone… is to stop leading from the front.
This is the heart of the Coaching style in Situational Leadership—high direction, high support.
Still guiding, but asking more than telling.
Still involved, but giving room for ownership to grow.
According to Blanchard and Hersey’s model, coaching is best for someone who is:
• Building experience but still unsure
• Competent in parts, but hesitant overall
• Ready to stretch, but not ready to run solo
And this is where many leaders miss the mark.
We either pull back too soon (“They’ve got it!”)
Or stay too hands-on (“Let me just tell them how to do it.”)
But Coaching lives in that uncomfortable middle ground—
The space where growth happens.
The space where confidence starts to form.
The transition from Directing to Coaching is subtle—but critical.
It’s when you stop giving answers and start unlocking them.
When your job becomes less about leading from the front, and more about walking alongside.
And often, it starts with just one question.
Signals to Look For
Frequent reassurance-seeking
Over-checking or underdelivering
Hesitation despite experience
High effort with lingering doubt
These aren’t signs of weakness.
They’re invitations to shift your stance—to stop solving, and start strengthening.
Your Turn
Who on your team is on the edge of confidence—but still tethered to your approval?
This week, ask one more question before you give an answer.
Create space for their thinking, not just your direction.
You may know what they should do—but they need to discover it for themselves.
You might be surprised what they already know.
Next Monday, we’ll explore the Supporting style—what it looks like when someone knows what to do, but needs emotional encouragement more than task guidance.
And at the end of April, I’ll share a full article tying all four leadership styles together—with examples of how to flex your style in real-time.
#MicroMomentMonday #SituationalLeadership #CoachingLeadership #LeadershipInAction #EverydayLeadership #LeadWithCuriosity
